It’s a Bad Head Day. Most people have Bad Hair Days. Well, I have those too…notably for about six months following a surgery when the surgical team have shaved off half my hair. But Bad Head Days are more frequent. Today’s has been caused by the weather. My head does not like changes from high barometric pressure to low barometric pressure. Not only do I feel pretty rough, but I had my boss call me up this morning (I work from home – the only way I’ve been able to hold down a job for any length of time) to let me know that last night, during my work shift, I made four errors. This is odd for me. I’m usually uber-careful and double-check everything before I send it off as I am fully aware that a shunted brain doesn’t always produce perfect work. I double-checked my stuff last night too but seems that it didn’t make an awful lot of difference.
Today I am mainly on the sofa with a throbbing head and feeling glad that I don’t have to go anywhere/talk to anyone (apart from the cat) today. Well, until I start work tonight. Holding down a job with this condition is damn hard. We look fine, we seem fine – and out of nowhere, we can go a bit strange, with no warning. Working for myself and from home has been a Godsend for me. It’s literally the only way I’ve managed to always work, throughout the whole thirteen years since my diagnosis, during the periods when I’m not very ill or having surgeries. I was employed in the years leading up to being diagnosed and for four months afterwards in a high-pressured, high-energy job which I loved. I loved the buzz, the stress and pressure even and the salary! It only took three weeks after being back in the office after an absence of seven months (the amount of time it took me to deteriorate, be admitted to hospital, be kept in, have the barrage of tests that ensued, have the major surgery and recover sufficiently) to realise that keeping that job was no longer an option. I was brokenhearted. My company were too and very generous and supportive but it was a no-brainer (pun very much intended).
I will post about how I made the transition from Sales Administrator to Vocal Coach another time – it’s a story of determination, thinking outside-the-box, perseverance – nah, not really. It’s a story of complete panic and desperation. But the former sounds better. Right, my brain is positively staging a sit-in protest now (or rather, a sit-on protest; it’s refusing to allow me to move from the sofa) so I’ll post when I’m feeling better. Which will be tomorrow. That’s an order, brain.
- An intro to hydrocephalus. Complete with ideas for a Cream Cracker Challenge and a few pics. (jordantheheadcase.wordpress.com)